Don't let your past dictate who you are,
but let it be a part of who you will become.
but let it be a part of who you will become.
Friday, February 27, 2004
Wednesday, February 25, 2004
I'm going to get a hair cut! Can't wait can't wait! I so need a fresh new look! it's getting pretty warm here in Saitama as well (=P to Ting..hehe), so I thought I'd better cut it before I move to a new school that takes a 40 minutes bike ride to commute.
Gotta go back to my translation homework, it's the last one in the course! Woohoo!!!
Gotta go back to my translation homework, it's the last one in the course! Woohoo!!!
Monday, February 23, 2004
The following was posted on the Saitama JET mailing list and here I share it with you guys:
Courage or results: Which is primary?
Do you put your primary focus on choosing courage?
Or do you put your primary focus on getting results?
Whichever you choose as primary (again and again)
will make all the difference in your life.
It's great when we have enough power and/or knowledge
so that our actions can guarantee results we want.
But the real power and juice of life
is not lived in the security of what we already know for sure,
is not lived with the assurance
that our actions will always hit the mark,
but always on the edge of what we don't know for sure,
and on the precipice
of what we cannot guarantee and control.
When we live our lives
with a primary intention of always getting results,
when we begin to judge ourselves
on whether or not we got results
(in the areas that cannot be guaranteed),
when avoiding the fear
of not getting results becomes primary,
when we limit ourselves in what we're willing to go for
because we cannot know the outcome for sure,
then our life becomes an ever-contracting cage of avoidance.
This is the life that most people live most of the time.
On the other hand,
when we begin to hold the choice of courage as primary,
when we begin to see and act upon the fact that the results
of any one choice of courage cannot be guaranteed,
when we begin to accept and even play with the fear
associated with taking the actions that may or may not
get results we want,
when we begin to choose the courage to enjoy the process,
independent of whether or not we get results,
when we begin to appreciate ourselves consistently
for choosing courage each and every time we go for it,
regardless of the results,
then our life becomes an ever-expanding panorama
of empowerment, accomplishment, and self-expression.
Why is putting the primary focus on results so disempowering?
Because if we don't get results,
we are likely to have thoughts and feelings like these:
"What's wrong with me?"
"What's wrong with them?"
"What's wrong with it?"
"Other people would get results. Why can't I?"
"I feel so embarrassed."
"Life is so hard."
"Life is unfair."
"It makes me angry."
"I'm not going to try this again."
Or more often, we end up not going for the results at all,
with likely thoughts and feelings like these:
"I probably wouldn't get the results I want anyway."
"I don't want to look foolish."
"It just feels easier to not go for it."
"I don't deserve it."
"I don't believe I can make a difference."
"What will other people think?"
"I don't want to feel rejected."
"I'm just unlucky."
"I want my life to feel safe."
"I just want to withdraw."
"Life is difficult."
Why is putting the primary focus
on choosing courage so empowering?
Because if we don't get results,
we can easily have thoughts and feelings like these:
"I feel good about myself for choosing courage."
"I enjoyed the process,
even though I didn't get results I wanted this time."
"I have learned something about how to do it next time."
"I found out the way it may not work; I'll try another way."
"I feel complete and empowered with what happened;
now I'm in a resourceful place to choose what's next."
"Feeling good about myself
helps me to feel good about others."
"Life is such an adventure!"
Because if we do get results (which is more likely over time),
we can easily have thoughts and feelings like these:
"I feel more confident in my ability to get these results again."
"Life is such a bonanza: I enjoyed the process,
I feel great about myself,
and also, as a very nice extra, I got the results!"
"Life just gets easier and easier as I continue
to put my primary focus on choosing courage."
Either way, whether you get the results you wanted or not,
you can still say,
"I feel so proud of myself for choosing courage
to create the life I want."
The fundamental and most poignant difference
between "results" and "courage" is an issue of access.
Consider these basic facts:
Results are never really guaranteed.
There is always a level of risk.
Results are almost always in the future
(whether an immediate or more remote future).
Courage, in contrast, can always be "guaranteed"
in that it is always your choice;
to choose courage (or not) is always within your "control."
Courage is always in the now.
Even to commit yourself to choosing courage in the future
is a choice of courage now.
The reason we habitually put the primary focus on results
(instead of on choosing courage) is because it seems safer.
However, counter-intuitively, the exact opposite is true.
To put the primary focus on results,
instead of on choosing courage, is more dangerous.
To put the primary focus on choosing courage,
instead of on getting results, is safer.
Notice the choice of courage it takes
to put your primary focus on choosing courage!
Honor yourself for that choice (again and again).
Courage or results: Which is primary?
Do you put your primary focus on choosing courage?
Or do you put your primary focus on getting results?
Whichever you choose as primary (again and again)
will make all the difference in your life.
It's great when we have enough power and/or knowledge
so that our actions can guarantee results we want.
But the real power and juice of life
is not lived in the security of what we already know for sure,
is not lived with the assurance
that our actions will always hit the mark,
but always on the edge of what we don't know for sure,
and on the precipice
of what we cannot guarantee and control.
When we live our lives
with a primary intention of always getting results,
when we begin to judge ourselves
on whether or not we got results
(in the areas that cannot be guaranteed),
when avoiding the fear
of not getting results becomes primary,
when we limit ourselves in what we're willing to go for
because we cannot know the outcome for sure,
then our life becomes an ever-contracting cage of avoidance.
This is the life that most people live most of the time.
On the other hand,
when we begin to hold the choice of courage as primary,
when we begin to see and act upon the fact that the results
of any one choice of courage cannot be guaranteed,
when we begin to accept and even play with the fear
associated with taking the actions that may or may not
get results we want,
when we begin to choose the courage to enjoy the process,
independent of whether or not we get results,
when we begin to appreciate ourselves consistently
for choosing courage each and every time we go for it,
regardless of the results,
then our life becomes an ever-expanding panorama
of empowerment, accomplishment, and self-expression.
Why is putting the primary focus on results so disempowering?
Because if we don't get results,
we are likely to have thoughts and feelings like these:
"What's wrong with me?"
"What's wrong with them?"
"What's wrong with it?"
"Other people would get results. Why can't I?"
"I feel so embarrassed."
"Life is so hard."
"Life is unfair."
"It makes me angry."
"I'm not going to try this again."
Or more often, we end up not going for the results at all,
with likely thoughts and feelings like these:
"I probably wouldn't get the results I want anyway."
"I don't want to look foolish."
"It just feels easier to not go for it."
"I don't deserve it."
"I don't believe I can make a difference."
"What will other people think?"
"I don't want to feel rejected."
"I'm just unlucky."
"I want my life to feel safe."
"I just want to withdraw."
"Life is difficult."
Why is putting the primary focus
on choosing courage so empowering?
Because if we don't get results,
we can easily have thoughts and feelings like these:
"I feel good about myself for choosing courage."
"I enjoyed the process,
even though I didn't get results I wanted this time."
"I have learned something about how to do it next time."
"I found out the way it may not work; I'll try another way."
"I feel complete and empowered with what happened;
now I'm in a resourceful place to choose what's next."
"Feeling good about myself
helps me to feel good about others."
"Life is such an adventure!"
Because if we do get results (which is more likely over time),
we can easily have thoughts and feelings like these:
"I feel more confident in my ability to get these results again."
"Life is such a bonanza: I enjoyed the process,
I feel great about myself,
and also, as a very nice extra, I got the results!"
"Life just gets easier and easier as I continue
to put my primary focus on choosing courage."
Either way, whether you get the results you wanted or not,
you can still say,
"I feel so proud of myself for choosing courage
to create the life I want."
The fundamental and most poignant difference
between "results" and "courage" is an issue of access.
Consider these basic facts:
Results are never really guaranteed.
There is always a level of risk.
Results are almost always in the future
(whether an immediate or more remote future).
Courage, in contrast, can always be "guaranteed"
in that it is always your choice;
to choose courage (or not) is always within your "control."
Courage is always in the now.
Even to commit yourself to choosing courage in the future
is a choice of courage now.
The reason we habitually put the primary focus on results
(instead of on choosing courage) is because it seems safer.
However, counter-intuitively, the exact opposite is true.
To put the primary focus on results,
instead of on choosing courage, is more dangerous.
To put the primary focus on choosing courage,
instead of on getting results, is safer.
Notice the choice of courage it takes
to put your primary focus on choosing courage!
Honor yourself for that choice (again and again).
Wednesday, February 18, 2004
My horoscope for February:
You are questing for your heart's desire. You always thought you came here for a reason! There have been times during the last few months when you wondered whether you lost touch with the magical string that pulls you through life's Journey. Now you're back on track. Friends rally around you. Focus on career over the weekend and Monday, group activities Tuesday and Wednesday.
Focus on career over the weekend? What kind of a nut case would focus on career over the weekend?
You are questing for your heart's desire. You always thought you came here for a reason! There have been times during the last few months when you wondered whether you lost touch with the magical string that pulls you through life's Journey. Now you're back on track. Friends rally around you. Focus on career over the weekend and Monday, group activities Tuesday and Wednesday.
Focus on career over the weekend? What kind of a nut case would focus on career over the weekend?
An hour ago, the principal came to my desk and asked me:
"Elaine, when's your period?"
My God, what a sweet question to be asked on a sunny Thursday morning.
And from a principal to boot.
A few seconds later, I found out he was actually asking me when I have classes. It's open school today and some teachers from some rural area will visit my JHS school and see how classes are conducted.
I didn't bother to correct his English. No way......
"Elaine, when's your period?"
My God, what a sweet question to be asked on a sunny Thursday morning.
And from a principal to boot.
A few seconds later, I found out he was actually asking me when I have classes. It's open school today and some teachers from some rural area will visit my JHS school and see how classes are conducted.
I didn't bother to correct his English. No way......
Tuesday, February 17, 2004
knulla - fu*k in Swedish
skiter - sh*t in Swedish
du suger - you suck in Swedish
usted aspira - you suck in Spanish
merde - sh*t in French
vous sucez - you suck in French
who knows? this might come in handy someday =D
skiter - sh*t in Swedish
du suger - you suck in Swedish
usted aspira - you suck in Spanish
merde - sh*t in French
vous sucez - you suck in French
who knows? this might come in handy someday =D
I just had a lesson where we (Japanese teacher of English and I) taught the 1st graders (JHS) the following phrase from the textbook:
"You can go up into the head and see everything."
Funny English. Really makes you ponder for a sec doesn't it?
Can you guys guess what the "head" is? =D
"You can go up into the head and see everything."
Funny English. Really makes you ponder for a sec doesn't it?
Can you guys guess what the "head" is? =D
Wednesday, February 11, 2004
Came back from skiing and snowboarding in Niigata! (It was a Japanese national holiday on Wednesday and I took a paid leave on Tuesday) The weather was extremely nice. Blue sky and perfect snow! I only wore my ski jacket, a long sleeve t-shirt and ski pants and that was it!
I spent the first day learning how to ski with 3 instructors (my friends). I learned for 7 hours and I could only managed to really skied a little in the last two hours. It was sooo difficult. But it was fun when all 3 of my instructors carried me on their backs one at a time and skied away at the steep courses.
The second day, I signed up for snowboarding lessons. In a little less than two hours, I was able to snowboard by myself. The instructor was a young Japanese guy. Surprised that I was from Canada, he was like "You've never been to snowboarding/skiing in Canada? What the?" I guess it was like hearing a Japanese who hasn't been to onsen before. Oh well... Nonetheless, the lesson was fun and he treated me a coke during break. We chatted a little and he told me he has many friends in Vancouver who are pro-snowboarders. These Japanese friends of his would work part time in the summer, snowboard in the winter - and repeat. Talk about hardcore. Anyway, I spent the rest of the day going up the hill and taking lifts and practicing snowboarding (and a lot of falling and stumbling) by myself. I also spent some time sitting down viewing the beautiful scenery of Niigata while the speed skiers were passing me by and swaggering their way through the snow.
I don't wanna go back to work tomorrow. ARGH......
I spent the first day learning how to ski with 3 instructors (my friends). I learned for 7 hours and I could only managed to really skied a little in the last two hours. It was sooo difficult. But it was fun when all 3 of my instructors carried me on their backs one at a time and skied away at the steep courses.
The second day, I signed up for snowboarding lessons. In a little less than two hours, I was able to snowboard by myself. The instructor was a young Japanese guy. Surprised that I was from Canada, he was like "You've never been to snowboarding/skiing in Canada? What the?" I guess it was like hearing a Japanese who hasn't been to onsen before. Oh well... Nonetheless, the lesson was fun and he treated me a coke during break. We chatted a little and he told me he has many friends in Vancouver who are pro-snowboarders. These Japanese friends of his would work part time in the summer, snowboard in the winter - and repeat. Talk about hardcore. Anyway, I spent the rest of the day going up the hill and taking lifts and practicing snowboarding (and a lot of falling and stumbling) by myself. I also spent some time sitting down viewing the beautiful scenery of Niigata while the speed skiers were passing me by and swaggering their way through the snow.
I don't wanna go back to work tomorrow. ARGH......
Sunday, February 08, 2004
Threw away a lot of old teaching materials. Guess I won't be using them anymore. It feels good to throw away things. I now regularly dump small garbage at the nearby convenient store so that I don't have to wait for garbage day to come. =D
Saturday, February 07, 2004
I learned how to play Japanese MJ today! (I know, MJ two days in a row..=P) The basic rules are the same as Canton MJ, but their way of counting the points and the special dragon rules just baffle the heck out of me. Another weird thing is that they only play up to the south round. There are no west or north rounds. Anyway, I won tons today. If we played real money, I could've won about $200CAD!
Hung out with 3 friends (all English teachers) from Vancouver. We played MJ and had okonomiyaki (aka. japanese pizza) afterwards. It feels great hanging out with Vancouverites. I'm happy =)
Thursday, February 05, 2004
A friend of mine has a cousin in Korea who deliberately went to prison for 3 years just so that he could avoid being drafted.
I also heard that there are people in the States who deliberately went to prison just so that they could have proper food and shelter.
There should be a new definition for prison in the world today.
I also heard that there are people in the States who deliberately went to prison just so that they could have proper food and shelter.
There should be a new definition for prison in the world today.
Monday, February 02, 2004
Got home from Kyoto yesterday! After finishing the conference in Shiga, I extended my trip for 2 days and travelled with 2 friends I met at the conference (Elaine from San Francisco and Shani from New Zealand). Kyoto is so nice. Sometimes I wish I was placed there. But then again, I wouldn't have met all these great friends here in Saitama. I think the JET programme changed a lot of its participants' lives in many significant ways. I mean, look at those JETs who got married in Japan, if they were placed somewhere else, would they have met their mate? wonder wonder.
Anyway a picture speaks a thousand words. Will put the pictures up. =)
Oh btw guys, I'm planning to fly to HK this spring (late March to early April), I hope I won't have to cancel my flight again like last year... no please don't let that happen again.
Anyway a picture speaks a thousand words. Will put the pictures up. =)
Oh btw guys, I'm planning to fly to HK this spring (late March to early April), I hope I won't have to cancel my flight again like last year... no please don't let that happen again.
